Mincing Words

* Me: "Do you know any programming languages?"
* My Friend: "Sure. I know .com, .net, and .org."

In 1986, a reporter from the local newspaper was interviewing me for a story on my company, which does software development. His first question was: "What language do you program in? MS-DOS or ASCII?"

* Tech Support: "What version of the Mac OS are you using?"
* Customer: "Word 6.0."

* Tech Support: "Go to File and select Exit Windows. Click on 'OK'. What do you have on your screen now?"
* Customer: "Windows. I clicked on 'Cancel' because it said it would injure my Windows session."

* Customer: "Eudora keeps giving me the error 'connection confused'."

* Customer: "My DOS system got corroded."

* Student: "Hey, how do I lodge in to Hotmail?"
* Me: "You've got to type in your username and password in those fields that say 'username' and 'password'."
* Student: "I don't have one of those."
* Me: "You need one to log in to Hotmail."
* Student: "It's 'LODGE' in."
* Me: "The term is 'log in,' and you can't log in without a username and password. I can help you create one if you'd like."
* Student: "Um, excuse me, but I THINK I know what I'm talking about. It's LODGE in, and I don't want a username and password, I just want to get some email!"

I just went back to working after that, and he left complaining about how "crappy" the computers in the lab were, after trying to "lodge in" for ten more minutes.